not a beautiful or unique snowflake (nothings) wrote,
not a beautiful or unique snowflake
nothings

Significant spoilers for The Matrix Revolutions below, although not the actual ending proper.


               THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS
                a concise screenplay
        by Sean Barrett, apologies to Rod Hilton

FADE IN:

Falling green letters.

                DIRECTOR ANDY WACHOWSKI
           Let's start by pushing in on the
           letters, yeah, like that, so we
           can see the Matrix inside them.

                DIRECTOR LARRY WACHOWSKI
           Nah, let's start with a pull back
           from the Matrix to the letters...
           yeah, that's it.

                DIRECTOR ANDY WACHOWSKI
           No, no, I choose pushing in!

                DIRECTOR LARRY WACHOWSKI
           No, I choose pulling out!

                 PRODUCER JOEL SILVER
           Guys, I need the opening sequence
           right now. Just give me whatever
           you've got.

CUT TO:

INT. TRAIN STATION

                    KEANU REEVES
           Whoa! How'd I get here? Where
           is this place?

                    TANVEER ATWAL
           It's neither inside nor ourside
           the Matrix. That means it's in
           between. Also, I am a program.
           But I have a mommy and daddy, and
           they love me. Also, programs are
           just like people.

INT. TRAIN

In a scene evocative of Ghost, Laurence Fishburne
and Carrie-Anne Moss chase down crazy-haired Bruce Spence
on a train.

                  LAURENCE FISHBURNE
           Help Keanu Reeves.

                    BRUCE SPENCE     
           No!

INT. SORTA FETISH CLUB

Laurence Fishburne and Carrie-Anne Moss confront Lambert
Wilson, who is surrounded by goons.

                  LAURENCE FISHBURNE
           Give us safe passage. Both of us!

                    LAMBERT WILSON
                  (with French accent)
           Okay.

Carrie-Anne points a gun at his head.

                   CARRIE-ANNE MOSS
           Forgot to ask for safe passage for
           yourself.

                    LAMBERT WILSON
           Oops.

                  LAURENCE FISHBURNE
           Help Keanu Reeves.

                    LAMBERT WILSON
           Okay.

INT. ORACLE'S KITCHEN

Keanu Reeves arrives to confront Gloria Foster.

                     KEANU REEVES
           Whoa! You're not Gloria Foster.

                      MARY ALICE
           No. Some bad stuff happened to her,
           like dying, so you get me instead.
           Fortunately the Wachowskis came up
           with a way to make my replacing her
           pound home the theme of "choice" even
           more than it already was.           
           
                     KEANU REEVES
           How did I get here without jacking
           in? How did I destroy those sentinels
           in the last movie?

                      MARY ALICE
           Oh, simple. You have magic powers.

                       AUDIENCE
           What? Lame.

                      MARY ALICE
           I mean, you used the Force.

                       AUDIENCE
           Whoa.

                  DIRECTOR LARRY WACHOWSKI
           Great idea, Andy. The best explanation
           is no explanation at all.

                  DIRECTOR ANDY WACHOWSKI
           Yeah, remember what happened to Lucas
           with "midichlorians"?

EXT. HOVERCRAFT

                    JADA PINKETT SMITH
           Help us, our ship needs a "jump".

                    LAURENCE FISHBURNE
           Okay, here you go. Now just turn the
           "starter". I mean "igniter".

                       KEANU REEVES
           Jada, now that you've got it working,
           give me your ship.

                     JADA PINKETT SMITH
           Why?

                       KEANU REEVES
           I've been having weird visions ever
           since I got stuck in the Matrix.

                     JADA PINKETT SMITH
           Good enough for me.

INT. HOVERCRAFT

Keanu Reeves confronts the apparently psychotic Ian Bliss.

                         IAN BLISS
           Well, Mister Anderson, we meet again.
           You poor, hideous sack of stinking
           meat flesh. Do you know who I am?

                       KEANU REEVES
           Dude?

                         IAN BLISS
           Come, Mister Anderson, how hard can it
           be when there's only one person who's
           ever called you "Mister Anderson" in the
           entire series? You disgusting, vile
           human being.

                        KEANU REEVES
           Wait, wait, I'm getting it... you're
           somebody who's not human... wait, I know
           that speech pattern... You're Elrond!

                          IAN BLISS
           Close enough.

Keanu defeats Ian, but at the cost of one of his senses,
but which his Force powers have made redundant anyway.

INT. HOVERCRAFT DOCK

Guys get into mechanical fighting exoskeletons.

                   DIRECTOR ANDY WACHOWSKI
           And here is our homage to Aliens.

They are a lot like the one in Aliens, except, just like
every modern movie made with computer graphics, there are
several thousand of them.

A bunch of people, none of whom were in the first Matrix
movie, prepare to be slaughtered by Sentinels.

INT. HOVERCRAFT

Jada Pinkett Smith and Laurence Fishburne steer a hovercraft
down twisty corridors at very high speed.

                        AUDIENCE
           Hey, this is sort of like the Empire
           Strikes Back asteroid canyon sequence.
           Or maybe a videogame. Dunno which one.

A bunch of people, none of whom were in the first movie,
take gunners' positions that are slightly reminiscent of
those on the Millennium Falcon.

INT. ZION HOVERCRAFT DOCK

Sentinels burst through a hole in the ceiling, and swoop
around in graceful shapes.

                  DIRECTOR ANDY WACHOWSKI
            And here is our homage to the
            videogame "Galaga". Cool, huh?

The sentinels spend most of their time swooping around
and not actually attacking anything, for no apparent reason,
except that's how it was in Galaga.

Two characters, neither of whom were in the first movie, run
around with a rocket launcher trying to shoot the giant
digging machine.

                  DIRECTOR LARRY WACHOWSKI
            And this part our homage to the
            arcade game "Mr. Do's Castle".

They succeed in blowing it up!

INT. ZION

Instantly, as if every single person had a perfect source of
information as to what was going on in the dock, they all
react.

                    EVERYONE IN ZION
            Hooray!

INT. ZION HOVERCRAFT DOCK

Finally, Jada Pinkett Smith and Laurence Fishburne arrive
and save the day!

                    EVERYONE IN ZION
            Hooray!

                     NATHANIEL LEES
            But wait, you haven't saved the
            day at all! You've destroyed all our
            defenses, and now they can send their
            real attack force.

                    EVERYONE IN ZION
            Oops.

INT. OTHER HOVERCRAFT

                      KEANU REEVES
            I know how to defeat the machines! I'll
            upload a virus to their mainframe.

He does so.

                      KEANU REEVES
            It didn't work! They're not using
            Windows, they're using Mac OS X! I
            guess I'll have to go into the Matrix.

On the way, the world glows.

                 DIRECTOR ANDY WACHOWSKI
            And here is our homage to Michael
            Jackson's "Billie Jean" video.

EXT. MATRIX

Keanu confronts Hugo Weaving.

                      KEANU REEVES
            It ends tonight.

                      HUGO WEAVING
            Fine by me.

They fight. Keanu loses, then wins, then finally loses.

Inexplicably, he wins.

EXT. ZION

The sentinels all deactivate.

                     CLAYTON WATSON
             Even though I can't possibly know what
             happened, I'm going to conclude that
             all the machines have been destroyed,
             and Neo must have done it. We win!
                      (to all Zion)
             It's over! We won!

                    EVERYONE IN ZION
             Even though this is just some crazy kid
             yelling at us, and there's no way the
             war could be over...
                       (beat)
             Hooray!

                  DIRECTOR LARRY WACHOWSKI
             Hey, you know how after the first movie
             was a big success, we claimed that we'd
             planned all along for there to be three
             movies?

                  DIRECTOR ANDY WACHOWSKI
             Well, we were lying. Actually, we've been
             planning all along for there to be four
             movies. Or maybe five or six.

                  DIRECTOR LARRY WACHOWSKI
             Plus a couple videogames...

FADE OUT
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