not a beautiful or unique snowflake (nothings) wrote,
not a beautiful or unique snowflake

User accounts suck.

I decided to finally give in and give paypal access to a bank account, since I have surplus accounts these days and can take all the money out of one of them.

I go on paypal and give it the bank info, and it wants to verify that it's really me. It can even do this by logging on to my bank and verifying that way. I figure, ok, I'll change the password there after it does it.

But what's my account name? I'm actually logged on at the bank, and it keeps my account name in a cookie so when I logged on I didn't have to tell it my name, just my password. And it's not showing the name anywhere that I can find. (I have it written down somewhere, but first I'll poke around online to see if I can find it.)

Eventually I find in the change-username/password screen the option to force my username to be the same as my email address (but it doesn't actually show by username address). It still has an old email address, so I go ahead and change that first. (The email notifying me about this takes a while to show up, and when it does, it gets blocked by my spam filter. They're sending it from some weird randomized subdomain, so my attempts to whitelist it failed.)

Then I check the 'force username to be email' (which propogates the email into the username box and disables it), type in my password, and change my password while I'm at it to be something specifically for paypal.

Submit that and ok, I'm all set. Wait a while for confirmatory email, but none comes, so ok. Go into paypal, type in the info, hit submit, wait a minute. Eventually paypal comes back and says it failed. (I've used up one attempt of three.)

Go back to my bank site. Log out, log out completely, and try to log in. Hey, it fails, 1 of 4 attempts used. Try again in case I typo'd. 2 of 4 attempts used. Go to 'forgot my password' page. It's going to reset my password and email me a temporary one. Well, not much else I can do.

It wants both my username and my email address. I type the same thing in both. It gives me a useless error message (that doesn't explain what's wrong). Try only one or the other of username and email; it says it wants both.

Ok, let's make a guess: somehow the username change didn't happen. Dig up my old username, type it in, and hit enter. Hey, it's sending me email with a temporary password.

YOU FUCKERS. I don't actually want to change my password now, because now I know what the username is supposed to be. Maybe I could even go back and do it, but I've used 2 of 4 attempts and I'm not going to waste one trying the old password.

Then, even though I now have everything I need to proceed, I have to sit around for ten minutes waiting for them to send the damn email (and it to get caught in my spam filters).

Then, when it finally comes (just now), and I go log in with the temporary password and I try to reset the password back to the (new-for-paypal) password:

We're sorry, you may not use a password that you have used previously. Please re-enter a new password.

So then I try a new random password, and I get a useless error message that "something is wrong". I repeat this four times and it locks me out of my account. Now I have to call.

Fuck you fuckity fucking fuck waste of my life.

(The finger of blame here points at Washington Mutual, although this sort of thing is canonical.)
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