Me and some other guy, on Christmas Eve or so. There's a knock at the door. The other guy goes and opens it. Camera at the other side of the door shows his reaction, pans down to reveal: a baby, abandoned on the doorstep.
Outdoors, next day, there's deep snow all around. The other guy is saying, "Man, don't do this, it's not right, <baby> will get hurt." Camera pans over to reveal me at the bottom of a snow-covered hill. A deep trench in the snow runs up to the top of the hill. 20 feet up, the baby is slowly struggling to walk up it, then slips and slides all the way back down. The other guy says, "see?" And I say, "Look, this will give baby a big advantage later in life when he/she joins the Marines."